Family Relationships

Join other women in the sandwich generation - share ideas and solutions as you learn to nourish family relationships without starving yourself.

Monday, November 07, 2011

Kim Kardashian Could Use a Friend about Now


We all know from reality TV that fame can be fleeting - but what about Kim Kardashian and her 72 day marriage? Whether the Kardashians and the E! network deceived their fans or Kim is a victim of society's moral lethargy, she likely could use a good friend right about now.


Findings from the MacArthur Foundation indicate that, during hard times, women friends provide emotional security and support. According to a UCLA study by Drs. Shelley Taylor and Laura Klein, brain chemicals released when we're stressed cause us to seek out other women. And this may explain why social ties reduce our risk of disease and help us live longer. Friends also help us live better. Research about coping after loss of a partner found that women with a close confidante often are able to avoid a permanent loss of vitality. Here are some reasons why friends can be vital to a satisfying life:

They give positive advice. You may be facing a divorce, changing jobs, dealing with a boomerang kid or caring for an ailing parent. But in times of need you don't have to cope alone. Friends who've already been in your shoes want to share their experiences and can help as you explore your options.

They help with stress relief. Whether it's an exercise workout or a comedy show with lots of laughs, being with other women provides a source of strength and nourishment. No matter what - exchange emails daily, meet for coffee once a month or spend an annual weekend away - make a concerted effort to spend time together.

They provide social support. Knowing that you can count on others who really understand and have your best interests at heart? can be an antidote to the toxins of daily hassles. In addition to buffering the effects of distress, friends can provide meaning when you're feeling upset.

They're great companions. As busy as you are, try to pencil in a regular get-together regardless of what it takes to rearrange your schedule. Whether it's a quiet dinner to talk and catch up or an engaging activity like a hike in the mountains or a stimulating lecture, think of it as a chance to reconnect and re-center.

They accept you for who you are. Even after you disclose your darkest secrets, good friends provide unflinching and fierce loyalty. They accept your flaws and remind you of your attributes and talents. You can feel secure knowing that, with the support of someone totally on your side, anything is possible.

Kim came home from Australia early to have the support of the Kardashian family, who are famous for being famous. There's speculation about whether the wedding presents will be kept, given back or donated to charity. Let's hope that Kim grows into the closeness, understanding and trust at the heart of women's friendships - it's actually the best gift she can give herself.

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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Over the next couple of days we'll be giving some tips for you Sandwiched Boomers, as you look at your friendships and begin to build on them.

Appreciate your friends and give these relationships the time and attention they need in order to blossom. Turning to other women for support can provide strength to help you cope as you face challenges with your family in flux.

Women’s friendships can be complicated. What you need from each other, and the intensity and frequency of these needs, can lead to some misunderstandings. Hang in there during the rough periods.

Friendships change throughout life. When you're young, friends help form your identity. In adolescence, with peer pressure, your sense of self depends on what you see reflected in their eyes. When you know who you are, how friends see you seems less important. But they can play an even more significant role in your life.

Studies have found that social ties reduce our risk of disease and help us live longer. Friends also help us live better. The 'tend and befriend' notion, developed by Drs. Shelley Taylor and Laura Klein, may explain why women consistently outlive men. the famed Nurses' Health Study from Harvard Medical School determined that the larger the number of friends women have, the less likely they are to develop physical impairments as they age, and the more likely they are to lead a joyful life.

And that's not all. Research about how well women function after their spouse has died indicates that, even in the face of this severest stressor, those women who have a close friend and confidante are more likely to survive the experience without any new physical impairments or permanent loss of vitality.

Learn more about this when you join us anytime this Thursday for our Virtual Book Tour. Our guest will be Elaine Williams, who wrote "A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss" after the death of her husband.

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