Kim Kardashian Could Use a Friend about Now

We all know from reality TV that fame can be fleeting - but what about Kim Kardashian and her 72 day marriage? Whether the Kardashians and the E! network deceived their fans or Kim is a victim of society's moral lethargy, she likely could use a good friend right about now.

Findings from the MacArthur Foundation indicate that, during hard times, women friends provide emotional security and support. According to a UCLA study by Drs. Shelley Taylor and Laura Klein, brain chemicals released when we're stressed cause us to seek out other women. And this may explain why social ties reduce our risk of disease and help us live longer. Friends also help us live better. Research about coping after loss of a partner found that women with a close confidante often are able to avoid a permanent loss of vitality. Here are some reasons why friends can be vital to a satisfying life:

They give positive advice. You may be facing a divorce, changing jobs, dealing with a boomerang kid or caring for an ailing parent. But in times of need you don't have to cope alone. Friends who've already been in your shoes want to share their experiences and can help as you explore your options.

They help with stress relief. Whether it's an exercise workout or a comedy show with lots of laughs, being with other women provides a source of strength and nourishment. No matter what - exchange emails daily, meet for coffee once a month or spend an annual weekend away - make a concerted effort to spend time together.

They provide social support. Knowing that you can count on others who really understand and have your best interests at heart? can be an antidote to the toxins of daily hassles. In addition to buffering the effects of distress, friends can provide meaning when you're feeling upset.

They're great companions. As busy as you are, try to pencil in a regular get-together regardless of what it takes to rearrange your schedule. Whether it's a quiet dinner to talk and catch up or an engaging activity like a hike in the mountains or a stimulating lecture, think of it as a chance to reconnect and re-center.

They accept you for who you are. Even after you disclose your darkest secrets, good friends provide unflinching and fierce loyalty. They accept your flaws and remind you of your attributes and talents. You can feel secure knowing that, with the support of someone totally on your side, anything is possible.

Kim came home from Australia early to have the support of the Kardashian family, who are famous for being famous. There's speculation about whether the wedding presents will be kept, given back or donated to charity. Let's hope that Kim grows into the closeness, understanding and trust at the heart of women's friendships - it's actually the best gift she can give herself.

Women and Friendship: Emotional Support

You probably don't need proof that the emotional support you get from friends is vital, but here it is. Ten years ago a UCLA study proposed that a cascade of brain chemicals released when we're stressed causes us to seek out other women. This 'tend and befriend' notion, developed by psychologists Drs. Shelley Taylor, Laura Klein and their associates, may explain why social ties reduce our risk of disease and help us live longer. Friends also help us live better. Research about coping after the loss of a partner indicates that women who have a close confidante more often survive without permanent loss of vitality. And that's not all. Both the Harvard Nurses' Health Study and the MacArthur Foundation Study confirm that friendship is one of the keys to a long and satisfying life.

So what is about your closest friends? Some women appreciate the unflinching acceptance and fierce loyalty, even after disclosing their darkest secrets. Others feel secure knowing that, with the support of someone totally on their side, anything is possible.

Appreciate your friends. Remind them of their attributes and talents. But also accept their flaws – especially at times when they need you to empathize with their position. Listen, regardless - your friends may just let off steam and in the process arrive at their own conclusions. Only give feedback when asked, and make sure that any negatives are gently but honestly delivered.

Here's an article from Psychology Today that speaks to the differences between women and men when it comes to friendships. You can read one woman's story, with questions that may shed some light on your own friendships, from the Newsletter Library on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com.

If you want to learn new ideas about how to improve your friendships and family relationships, sign the email list to the left of this post. You'll receive our free monthly newsletter and can download a complimentary ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals.