Women and Friendship: Emotional Support

You probably don't need proof that the emotional support you get from friends is vital, but here it is. Ten years ago a UCLA study proposed that a cascade of brain chemicals released when we're stressed causes us to seek out other women. This 'tend and befriend' notion, developed by psychologists Drs. Shelley Taylor, Laura Klein and their associates, may explain why social ties reduce our risk of disease and help us live longer. Friends also help us live better. Research about coping after the loss of a partner indicates that women who have a close confidante more often survive without permanent loss of vitality. And that's not all. Both the Harvard Nurses' Health Study and the MacArthur Foundation Study confirm that friendship is one of the keys to a long and satisfying life.

So what is about your closest friends? Some women appreciate the unflinching acceptance and fierce loyalty, even after disclosing their darkest secrets. Others feel secure knowing that, with the support of someone totally on their side, anything is possible.

Appreciate your friends. Remind them of their attributes and talents. But also accept their flaws – especially at times when they need you to empathize with their position. Listen, regardless - your friends may just let off steam and in the process arrive at their own conclusions. Only give feedback when asked, and make sure that any negatives are gently but honestly delivered.

Here's an article from Psychology Today that speaks to the differences between women and men when it comes to friendships. You can read one woman's story, with questions that may shed some light on your own friendships, from the Newsletter Library on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com.

If you want to learn new ideas about how to improve your friendships and family relationships, sign the email list to the left of this post. You'll receive our free monthly newsletter and can download a complimentary ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals.

Happiness in the Himalayan Kingdom of Bhutan

As we mentioned earlier in the week, it was the monarch of the Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan who first defined the concept of Gross National Happiness. But what is the Bhutanese formula for happiness?

Like many psychological and social indicators, GNH is easier to describe than to define with statistical precision. However, the Bhutanese people seem to know that happiness is multi-dimensional. Learn more on Bhutan's official website. The country is Buddhist and has a matriarchal system, very few cars, no branding in the shops, a single television station and a passion for archery. Healthcare and education are free for life. Almost every citizen wears the national costume all the time and regulations on architecture preserve the craft industry of religious art. Yes, there is uniformity, consistency and they're mobilized for the preservation of their core values.

For more ideas, read this article from Psychology Today about how to make a gratitude adjustment. And there's plenty of material for you on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com, that can help grow your feelings of well-being. Learn from Trudy about her painful losses that ended in a chance to live life more fully. Here are final tips for the week about increasing happiness:

Pay attention to the practical issues. Get enough sleep, stimulate your mind, eat well, practice relaxation or meditation, find your passion, exercise regularly, don't hold a grudge and spend time with friends. Maintaining order also falls into this category - studies show that if you make your bed, that provides inner calm and helps you start the day off right.

Don't expect too much. Unrealistic expectations can often lead to disappointment. Built-in obsolescence makes you a slave to the latest style and the next upgrade. It never ends, and leaves you dissatisfied with what you have. In some situations try not to expect anything and whatever comes your way will be a blessing.

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