A Woman's Nation: A Continuing Conversation

Although this is the last day we're focusing on 'A Woman's Nation', the conversation must continue. Exerpts of this post are from the Huffington Post article written by Chai Feldblum and Katie Corrigan, co-directors of Workplace Flexibility 2010. An initiative of Georgetown University Law Center, this project advocates for family friendly work policies and legislation.

It's important to look more closely at how workforce trends are impacting our family lives. Over two thirds of American families don't have someone at home who handles the household responsibilities. With both parents working, many struggle to succeed at work while meeting the demands of family, and often feel they fail to achieve either very well.
This issue impacts Sandwiched Boomers who are faced with the challenges of caring for a family in flux, whether it's growing children, aging parents or both. But the struggle to balance work and home is often seen as a problem that each employee or family must face alone.

The continuing conversation needs to include movement toward workplace flexibility that meets the needs of both employers and families. This approach supports individuals' control over the scheduling of their work hours and includes options such as condensed workweeks and telecommuting. Study results indicate that flexibility increases productivity by keeping workers healthier and happier as well as cuts employer costs by reducing turnover.

President Obama spoke this week about the incredible juggling act working women go through every day. And how to best support working parents is one of Michelle Obama's priorities. She is particularly concerned about policies providing sick leave, increased maternity leave and flexible work arrangements.

Let's hope that the buzz around the Shriver Report results in a national conversation about how to shift the infrastructure of the workplace to meet the realities facing families today. And we can start right here, right now.

A Woman's Nation: What Do Women Today Want?

So who is today's woman and what does she want? As one of our readers commented, it's certainly not like in the old days when Dad brought home the bacon and Mom fried it. The Shriver Report looks at how women’s changing roles are affecting all aspects of their lives, with concerns like how does she define power and success.

With more men forced to stay home due to unemployment, women are now driving the economy. It’s a transformational moment, with working women now the norm. For the first time, mothers have become the primary breadwinners in nearly half of American families.

Both women and men are struggling to adjust to these changes, with conversation and compromises at every turn. If the wife makes more money, does that become an issue in the relationship? If she's always tired from working and taking care of the home, what about the marriage?

There's no one way to respond to this evolving family dynamic. Some women today are still tough on themselves and feel guilty about the work/family pull. Others no longer want to do it all - being superwoman and an expert at multi-tasking is getting old. Husbands are stepping up to the plate in record numbers. And some stay-at-home dads, who take their job very seriously, don't want to be told what to do.

More conversations are going on around the kitchen table. And it looks as if learning to negotiate, so it's a win/win for both, is becoming an art form. Want to weigh in? Click on 'comments' at the bottom righthand corner of this post and follow the prompts. Write about the compromises you and your partner are making. You can sign in as anonymous - it's easy and we'd love to hear from you!

A Woman's Nation: Who Wears the Pants?

One question in the Shriver Report, when husbands weighed in, was who wears the pants? Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm's husband is now a full-time Dad. He talked about the shifting landscape of their marriage and changes in his sense of himself. Unlike fathers in the past, who 'took a back seat,' he sometimes tells his wife to 'stay out of my lane.' His sentiments were echoed by other dads - whereas they and the kids are a team when mom is at work, she still expects to be in charge when she's home.

Questions the group of men answered often revolved around roles: Are both women and men having identity crises? Who is really in charge?

All of the men agreed that, in this crazy economy, redefinig roles has become the norm. Their emotional responses to expectations depend on how they grew up - in a traditional home where mom stayed home and dad worked or by a single working mom. It seems as if several of the men want to be the kind of dad they didn't have.

There was also concensus about the struggles that go along with these evolving dynamics. At times some aren't sure what their wives want or what the family needs from them. These new arrangements require a lot more emotional presence and awareness. Some still look to their wives for permission on a variety of issues, but less so as they're more in charge.

It looks like the male ego may be shrinking. In general, the men wanted to support their wives, be more hands-on with the children, understand eldercare problems. They're receptive to negotiating the family rules over the kitchen table. One dad summed it up - 'My daughters will enjoy a better reality, although we're not quite there yet.' In fact, many of the men seem to be learning that, once an identity shift is made, this new lifestyle can be very gratifying.