OK. With all the responsibilities of a Sandwiched Boomer and the stress over the financial fallout, you and your partner have been driving each other crazy. How do you avoid doing permanent damage in the heat of the moment?

All couples get angry and have arguments, so know that you're not alone. But remember, when resolving conflict, to keep your words sweet - because you may have to eat them.

When in conflict, you can minimize emotional overload by focusing only on the issue at hand. And try not to blame your partner or be defensive. Research conducted by relationship experts indicates that one of the most effective ways to have control over the outcome of disagreements is to assume some personal responsibility and, in the end, be willing to negotiate a compromise. Fights don't have as much fallout if you and your partner have accumulated a shared positive reserve in your emotional bank account. That is, the more positive interactions and feelings, the less damage.

It seemed to Sybil that her parents were always angry with each other. She hoped they would get a divorce but they stayed together and just kept on fighting. She vowed that her marriage would be different. "I couldn’t wait to move out. Over the years I broke off several relationships that could have worked, but I was too afraid of ending up just like my parents. At the age of 42, after years of therapy, I finally felt secure enough to take the plunge. Every day, for the past seven years, I wake up and make a conscious decision to focus on the positives in my marriage.

Over the next couple of days. we'll be offering tips about how to 'fight fair.' And we welcome your ideas, as well.

With more flexibility in your beliefs about communication between the sexes, you can begin to appreciate and integrate the unique opinions and attitudes of the men who mean the most to you. Here are more comments from our poll.

Adam reflected on the process he and his second wife were still working on in couples’ counseling. “I’m committed to being fully present, to making requests and talking about what I need instead of complaining. I'm also trying to satisfy my wife’s requests and needs. This has become the core dynamic of our successful life together. We'll schedule appointments to sit down and talk without distractions, then make agreements based on what is best for ‘us’. Sometimes we revisit these agreements a month later but usually not. But we both try to compromise and avoid resentment.”

Like Adam, Carl was in the midst of a learning curve, thanks to the intervention of couples’ therapy. He was discovering the benefit of bringing feelings to conscious awareness as well as the value of sometimes even keeping his thoughts to himself. “I’m determined not to overplay my hand. My two older brothers taught me to be brutal and use my words like a weapon. I need to remember to slow down, to be patient. Especially since my wife is a person with a particularly painful background and certain fears.”

When Jeremy closed his business he was worried about adjusting to an unstructured lifestyle. Retirement has brought many gifts to him and his wife, including fuller and deeper conversations. He attributes this in part to being under less pressure. He also gives specific credit to his own efforts. “Retirement has made it easier to talk to my wife. I’m no longer driven by making it in the business world or by work deadlines. I’m trying to be more reflective as well as more positive. My wife appreciates that. It’s obvious that my change in attitude has made a difference. She is more responsive to me and to what I need from her.”

As you can see, not all men think alike. This Father's Day give the gift of understanding to your partner, your Father, your brothers and your sons.