Eliizabeth Edwards: The Value of Perspective and Resilience

The title of Elizabeth Edward's book is Resilience. We've spent the week looking at ways to increase your ability to bounce back in challenging circumstances. It's hard to really know what's going on in other peoples' lives. And, as Sandwiched Boomers, we all know that situations aren't always as they seem.

Is what Elizabeth Edwards is doing the best for her family and herself? Maybe not. Although you'd never know it from the media's emphasis, her husband's affair is only one part of her life story. Some say revenge is a dish best served in public. But she may be seeking something more profound than vengeance. Her breast cancer has metastasized and Edwards may be taking hold of the power she does have. Perhaps she's claiming something for herself - presenting the details of a life that mattered, on her own terms.

Perspective is valuable, whether you're hit in the face with a crisis, adjusting to changes in your family or making a transition into the next chapter of your life. A cascade of feelings is normal - anxiety, the desire to hold on, resentment, sadness, fear, even a sense of freedom. If, like Elizabeth Edwards, you have the fortitude to step back, take a deep breath and face the situation squarely, you can't help but grow from the challenges.

Tips to Help Sandwiched Boomers Cope

Through her toughest times, Elizabeth Edwards was a Sandwiched Boomer like you. And she probably used tips such as these to cope with her family issues. Let us know if they work for you:

If your aging parents are ailing or your growing children are struggling, you may be fearful of what could happen. It makes sense that you would pull back in order to protect yourself. Unfortunately emotional distancing can feel like rejection, further complicating the circumstances. Although talking about what you are afraid of isn’t easy, it can eventually bring you closer to your loved ones.

Remind yourself to look at what’s going on from others’ perspectives as well as your own. It’s painful to see family members feeling vulnerable or distressed, but try to put yourself in their shoes. Question whether how you’re handling the situation is more for their benefit or for yours. And figure out together what it is that you need from each other. Getting and giving support are crucial to building resilience.