Tools for Coping with Roller Coaster Market

Are you unnerved by the current stock market's dramatic volatility, with its wild swings down and up? If you're feeling anxious about how the national and global economic unrest will affect your personal and family finances, you're not alone. You may be rethinking how you will handle your planned retirement, your kids' college educations, supporting your needy parents, even your day-to-day expenses. While we here at Nourishing Relationships and Her Mentor Center are not financial experts, we do have some coping tips that can help you deal with the emotional overload you may be experiencing. In support of our readers - baby boomers, gen X'ers or others - we are now giving you a gift of our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success free of charge for a limited time.

When you download our free ebook, you'll find practical tips for reducing stress, getting some control over your expenses, understanding the role financial instability plays in your marriage, creating new ways of flexible family living within this turbulent economy and investing in your own physical and emotional well-being.

And if you're a part of the Sandwich Generation - caring for growing children and aging parents - we've found a website that sells some helpful tools. It's called asaneapproach.com and we'd like to share it with you.

You've often heard us talk here at Nourishing Relationships about the importance of creating a written contract when your family is dealing with difficult issues - a teenager's rights and responsibilities, a boomerang kid's privileges and duties, your sibling's roles vis-à-vis aging parents. It's important to clarify expectations on both sides and deal with boundary complexities so they don't sabotage your family relationships.

A Sane Approach offers agreements you can modify to fit the specifics of your family; there are two that may be particularly useful to you in the coming months. In response to the economic downturn, if you're expecting a boomerang kid, their downloadable contract for an adult child moving home can be used to organize the policies you've agreed to implement. Or if you're caring for an elderly parent, their document can help you and your siblings determine exactly how you will share obligations and decision-making.

We hope you'll get some help in keeping your balance in the midst of this financial turmoil and download our free ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success. Let us know how these tips work for you.

Is Another Financial Storm Brewing?

Now that credit rating firm Standard and Poor's has downgraded the United States' government debt from AAA to AA+ for the first time in history, a sense of uncertainty has again taken over the American psyche. After another historic plummet of the stock market last week in response to Congress' clumsy negotiations over raising the debt ceiling, the market again today has opened drastically lower. How will the week play out? No one knows for sure. But families all over the country are bracing for the effect of the national - and global - financial chaos on their own personal futures.

Many are concerned that the S&P downgrade of U.S. bonds - and now their additional downgrade of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac - will raise interest rates for families, making it more difficult for them to pay off credit card debt or arrange for a loan to purchase a new car or home. And small business owners, already hampered in their abilities to function, are facing another setback in their growth from these S&P downgrades.

What can we do in these difficult days? Here at Nourishing Relationships and Her Mentor Center, we'd like to help you cope with the stresses of the economic turmoil that you may be facing. So for a limited time, we are now offering you our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success, completely free of charge. Comprised of eight white papers, our ebook can empower you and give you tools to manage the challenges and tensions you are experiencing. Simply click on the link to Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm and you can receive a complimentary download of the pdf file. Use the tips we provide to create solutions for your family distress in these tough times. And please let us know how you are doing through the "comment" button below.

We Are Queens Not Princesses

We were pleased to host Donna Henes here at Nourishing Relationships for a Virtual Book Tour on Wednesday. She answered questions about her stimulating book, The Queen of My Self: Stepping Into Sovereignty in Midlife.

Several readers wanted to clear up their understanding of some of the words Donna used when she was chatting with us.

One reader asked:
Excuse my ignorance, but what is an urban shaman?

And Donna responded:

"To answer your question as to what an urban shaman is:

As shamans in every culture always have, I create contemporary rituals for my community, which I consider to be all of humanity. My role is that of catalyst: organizing and instigating innovative, de-mystified systems for creative public interaction, celebration, and communion.

I am an Urban Shaman, a modern urban woman, living in the city that is the capital of the world. My specialty is multicultural ritual and ceremony. I learn from all of the members of my community and blend together rituals that speak to all people from all backgrounds. My circles reflect that diversity and I am proud to be the ceremonial connector of people of all faiths and ethnicities."

Remembering the negative label of 'Princess', another reader inquired:
Just wondering how a Queen is different from a "Princess." I never wanted to be thought of as a "Princess" when I was younger, so why do I want to be a Queen now?"

Queen Mama Donna replied:

"A Queen is not a grown up princess. A princess is pampered, cosseted in a cushion of entitlement. A Queen is a mature ruler of her own destiny. She rolls up her sleeves and does whatever needs to be done, because she sees the need and has the ability to respond. A Queen owns and embraces her own power and uses it to empower others."

Sharon commented:
I like that just because we're focusing on being the best we can each be, it doesn't mean that we ignore the rest of the world. As you say, we can use our maturity to respond to the needs of others and give back.

And Donna's response was:

"Yes, respond is the key word. I like to spell responsibility with s hyphen: response-ability. Our responsibility to ourselves, our inner circles, our community and our world is defined by our ability to respond."


Finally, two readers asked Donna for some advice about how to think of themselves as Queens.

Gloria said:
Thanks for your encouragement. I'd like to think of myself as a Queen but to my kids either I'm invisible or, if they do acknowledge me, I'm an intrusive, royal pain in the butt.

Queen Mama Donna answered her:

"Hi Gloria, So your kids don't see you as a Queen... What do they know?! You are the Queen of your own life. We all are. IF we can allow ourselves to own our own power. Only you can validate your own sovereignty. Issue an official Royal Decree "I hereby declare that I am forthwith Queen of My Self." All hail!"

Another reader put it this way:
Mama Donna, You make so much sense - but it's hard to keep thinking of myself as a Queen when I keep getting shot down. What can I do to keep myself on track?

Here's how Donna weighed in:

"Keeping your own center in the midst of opposition is not easy. But it is incredibly important. It is all about Self-esteem.

In The Queen of My Self there is an entire chapter of exercises and practices to help develop a healthy sense of internal sovereignty. Also, I write a daily bog on Beliefnet.com with information, advice, inspiration and encouragement for obtaining Meaning, Moxie and Majesty in Midlife.

You can also subscribe to The Queen's Chronicles for a monthly Ezine full of ideas to keep empowered. Just go to thequeenofmyself.com and sign up.

These tools are helpful as reminders of and as connectors to your own power.

In the end, it is your opinion of you that counts. Eleanor Roosevelt said, No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

Again, our thanks to Donna for joining us here at Nourishing Relationships. For news about other Virtual Book Tours we have hosted, visit our website, HerMentorCenter.com and watch some videos about past guests we have welcomed. You'll also find information on our website about how to order our new ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success.