Even in the holiday season, the news media thrive on streaming information - and gossip - about the exploits of high visibility couples. The general public has been well informed about the on-going splits of Hollywood couples, the infidelity of John Edwards, the visits to call girls by Eliot Spitzer. Polls report that approximately one-third of marriages have experienced an affair by one of the partners. How then do the other two-thirds resist the temptation to stray? As Paul Newman, married over 50 years to Joanne Woodward before he died, explained it, "I have steak at home, why go out for hamburger?"

Recent research has identified some functions of the brain that make it easier to remain monogamous, particularly for women. When placed in a situation where an outside flirtation is possible, a subconscious alarm is set off and women react by not paying attention to the appealing threat. Instead, they express more commitment to their relationship. Men's brains do not automatically protect their relationships in the same way but can be trained to do so by visualizing and planning how to avoid the enticement. Additional studies have shown that when strong love is at the forefront, it is harder for the brain to pay attention to, perceive and recall the appeal of an attractive outsider.

Are you ready to learn how to keep the romance alive in your relationship and keep you and your partner from straying? With physiology and love on your side, tune in this week for tips to make it easier for you and other Sandwiched Boomers to stay faithful.

Crime buster Governor Eliot Spitzer has fallen on his own sword, and his involvement in a prostitution ring has created a heartbreaking family tragedy. Although he raised the ethical bar in New York, he forgot to hold himself to this higher standard. Ignoring the consequences of his acts, and the people he would hurt, makes you question both his character and moral development. Now that he has resigned, he has a big job ahead - looking deep inside himself.

This scene - personal pain on display for all to see - has played out many times before in the political arena. There's a variety of ways to look at what motivates the betrayed wife, disgraced and humiliated, standing by her man. It could be denial, shock or an out-of-body fugue state. Perhaps it's what she always does, a function of her derived identity or in defense of her own aspirations. Or it may even be plain love, a long history together, concern for the children, a desire to keep the family together. In any case, it takes a lot of courage and the road to healing the wounds is long and hard.

To gain a better understanding of the potential effects of espousing a rigid morality and then living a life of reckless abandon, click on our Thursday, February 21st blog post. Learn more about cognitive dissonance by reading the Q&A by Carol Tavris, best-selling author (with Elliot Aronson) of “Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions, and hurtful acts.”

Don't forget to tune in here tomorrow, or anytime thereafter, for Carolyn Howard-Johnson's Virtual Book Tour - she'll be discussing her mid-life career change and how it led to her recently published books.

The media spotlight today is on Eliot Spitzer, the Govenor of New York, and his link to the Emperor's Club VIP prostitution ring. Whether his damaging behavior is related to a sense of entitlement, the dark side of his virtuous attitude, high testosterone or feeling he's above the law, seeing the pained look on Silda Spitzer's face and knowing that he has 3 teenage daughters makes you wonder.

His is a classic and most dramatic example of the disruption of equilibrium that can occur in long-term relationships. Reading the examples below, do you recognize any of these changes in your own marriage? Look carefully at the emotions that surface when you step into new roles and give up the ones that have defined you in the past.

If either of you has made bad choices, like deciding independently about joint finances or being unfaithful, the emotional damage can endanger the future of the relationship. When trust is broken, there is a buildup of frustration, anger, or disappointment, even despair as you make efforts to adapt to the new reality.

Time itself can erode your marriage if quality time together has been put on hold while raising your family. Now, without the buffer of children, it may be apparent how much you've changed and how far apart you’ve grown. Could you instead begin to anticipate getting to know each other again and creating an improved future together?

Are you experiencing angst about your relationship or actively searching for some deeper meaning in your life situation? As you redefine your self and partnership, it can lead to your gradually feeling more powerful. By becoming at ease with who you are, you will go from being afraid of your future to feeling excited about what’s ahead.