Stories from Stepping Stones

Many women were generous about sharing their stories with us - and our readers. You can read them in full on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com, but here's a brief sampling from 8 different women who had unique yet universal tales to tell in various past issues of Stepping Stones:

"The bad news came swiftly and completely unexpectedly - the office was being closed and I was out of a job. This was not the first time I had faced unemployment. In the past, I had always hunkered right down and launched a job search. This time I made a very different decision."

"I had heard from other friends who had already been there that the pleasure of grandparenting was the only activity that was not overly exaggerated. So I was looking forward to it with great glee, yet also with some trepidation. I didn't really know what to expect - from the baby, from our children, from my husband, from our co-grandparents or even from myself in this new situation."

"I hated being single. I really missed the company of a man. I am from a generation where my identity was being a wife. Without the marriage, I felt I had no identity. At least with a man, I felt useful and worthwhile. I was also very lonely. I missed being one-half of a relationship."

"I feel as if I am living a dream, sometimes scared but most often excited by my travel and volunteer opportunities. In looking back, I recollect my hope of retiring early enough to travel off the beaten path. Before I knew it, the safety of the intellectual journey spent in bookstores, at lectures and on the internet became the reality of leaving a gratifying and secure career for the unknown."

"Becoming an entrepreneur is a grand adventure! After a long, productive work life as an employee in both the public and private sectors, I retired. Since I was not working, I had more time to spend with my 86-year-old mother who lives in a nearby residential care home. Because she has many medical problems that impair the circulation to her extremities, she always complained that her hands were cold. I felt I had to help solve this problem both for her and the other folks in her residential home."

"With the shattering of the marriage and hope of growing old together, old buried dreams were suddenly free to surface. Marrying and becoming a mother immediately after college, I did not have the chance to travel to Asia or do very long meditation retreats like many of my friends who also taught Buddhist meditation. I found in myself a wild courage, born of: "freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose!" I decided to leave everything I knew, jump off a cliff and free-fall through the abyss. I was where I wanted to be."

"I felt a void and lack of purpose following Mom's death. No longer volunteering or caring for Mom, my days were long. My oldest was soon leaving for college with the two younger ones flying the coop shortly behind him. What was I going to do with my life? I felt empty. What did I want to be when I grew up?"

"I don't know what the future holds. I'm learning to pay more attention to the present. But I do feel I've experienced a hard won transition that only time on this planet and an open mind could bring about. It is amazing how feared aging is when the focus is only on the physical when, in fact, it is a journey to wisdom and inner peace. I feel that I am finally at home within myself."

Come share your own story with us - or just read along with others. To subscribe to Stepping Stones, simply click on the link below and to the left labeled "FREE Newsletter." This month you'll receive our 75th issue.

Stepping Stones Support You

Changes in your life can knock you off your feet. Until now, you may have been in charge of your life. But now perhaps you feel isolated, anxious, helpless and out of control. When you are the one who is stressed and needs nurturing, how do you begin to care for yourself?

Reaching out for support can help you manage.

In Stepping Stones, we have printed stories from women like Doreen who went through difficult times and then offered you our thoughts about how support helped them cope:

There are many ways of coping with loss and each of us will find our own. Doreen found a path through her grief primarily through the support that came from her friends and the comfort of her work routine. She also found a sense of purpose in taking care of those who needed her - her husband while he was ill, her sons and her boss. Throughout her story, Doreen speaks of the value of her friendships, especially those she nurtured over the years. By reaching out to these women, she was supported, involved, and included. Doreen and her peers continue to be resources for each other now that they are getting older.

Sometimes, we used other women's stories to get you thinking about issues in your own lives, as we did with Ilene's story about her friendships:

Ilene has found that, for herself, the most valuable quality of a woman friend is a "beautiful heart." What qualities are important to you in your friendships today: Sharing feelings about challenges you are facing? Exchanging practical information? Enjoying companionship? Having someone there who truly understands and accepts you as you are?

After women such as Sally and Debbie told their stories, our Stepping Stones sections highlighted steps you could take to help manage the challenges in your own lives:

Both Sally and Debbie profit from the contact with each other. Although they function differently, they celebrate their differences and still find common ground. They recognize the mutuality of a friendship and both women grow from the infusion of new energy. Who are the people in your life whose differences can enrich you? In what ways does your life change when you support a friend? Both Sally and Debbie have the wisdom to realize that transitions are constant - that change is the only certainty in life. They know that with practical coping tools, including their friendship, they can maneuver through their transitions now and in the future.

Is there a friend with whom you want to share the wisdom of Stepping Stones? You can show her how to sign up - click on the "FREE Newsletter" link below and to the left to register for her own personal copy.

Staycation to Honor Aging Parents

Today we have some staycation pictures and a story from an ex-Sandwiched Boomer:

"I had taken care of my aging parents, moving them into our home for the last several years of their lives. But I must admit that most of my energies were focused on raising the children so our vacations revolved around them.

For years, I had heard from my parents about how they had eloped during the years of the Great Depression and been secretly married for four years. It all sounded so romantic and I tried to imagine my parents, so frail in their 80's, in their prime. But in all those years, none of us had ever been to the courthouse, in a county seat in a neighboring state, where they went to be married.

So one weekend this summer, my husband and I decided to take a staycation and make the three-hour drive. We wanted to see if we could find the record of their marriage certificate from that day over 70 years ago. After some investigation, we were excited to find the exact page with their information and original signatures.

We imagined them making their plans, driving with anticipation and maybe even some apprehension, giggling as they filled out their forms, and finally, looking up at the intricately beautiful ceiling, ready to embark on their new life together.


We left that day feeling close to my parents and understanding more about who they had been in their youth. Even though they are gone, these pictures of their wedding site gave me insight into them in a way I had never experienced before. I have shared this with my children and believe that they, too, now have a better understanding of their grandparents as real people with full lives."

Today we heard about how one woman's staycation enriched her understanding of her parents. If you are thinking about a travel experience far from home, click on the post title above. It takes you to a past issue of our Stepping Stones newsletter with information about moving away from your backyard and beyond your safety net. Let us know about your own vacation and staycation experiences.

Meryl Streep Tapped into her Creativity - how can you?

The Oscar buzz for Meryl Streep began a few weeks before her latest film, Julie and Julia, opened. And when I saw it, I knew why. Streep, 60, who has been nominated for an Oscar 15 times since 1979 and won it twice, plays the legendary chef and cookbook writer Julia Child. The movie, co-starring Amy Adams and directed by Nora Ephron, is based on a best-selling memoir by Julie Powell that began as a blog and became an international bestseller.

The tagline for the film is 'Passion. Ambition. Butter. Do You Have What It Takes?' Ask yourself that question. If your answer is 'yes,' this blog is a safe place to start. And you can begin by sharing your passion for photography or writing.



What follows is what appeared in the July edition of Stepping Stones, our monthly newsletter:

"Been to our blog lately? It's more colorful now that we've added pictures and videos to our posts. Look back over the past few weeks and you'll see what we mean. We want to include you, so we're opening up blogging at NourishingRelationships.blogspot.com to our readers.

Please share a favorite picture from your staycation or vacation and tell us why it is important to you. Email your picture, as a jpg file, no larger than 4 MB, to Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com. The photos and comments we select will be posted on the blog in September."

Meryl Streep has been tapping into her creativity for years now. And look where it's taken her. Give it a try. Scroll to the bottom of this post, click on comments and tell your story. Or email your pictures to Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com. We can't wait to see what you send in.