What's the old saying - if you don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going? Being comfortable in your relationship feels awfully good - but functioning on automatic pilot can get you into trouble. For some couples in the Sandwich Generation, the impetus to examine their partnership comes from the different energies that each wants to invest in family, career or leisure.

Don is torn between his own needs and those of his wife: "We're at different junctures right now.She worked part-time in nursing when our children were young. Over the years she has discovered a passion for business and recently started her own medical registry. The problem for me is, now that she's so immersed in her work, I want to cut back and spend more time together. I'm not sure how we can find a balance."

If there is mutual trust in your relationship, both of you can enjoy the freedom of exploring new options and goals. With her husband’s support, Rhonda, for the first time in 22 years, has achieved space within the marriage. "I have arrived at this crossroad with more confidence and trust in my personal choices. I just hope that my being stronger will not weaken our marriage.”

Think about where your marriage weighs in on the scale of transitions. Over the next couple of days we'll be looking at the various mid-life changes that can destabilize or re-energize a relationship.

Have you or your partner gone through a mid-life career change? When you're not on the same page about the significance of work, it can impact your relationship. It brings up issues around the division of labor - such as who assumes responsibility for daily chores and who controls the major decisions. Maybe you are once again struggling about who manages the checkbook and who does the laundry, just like you did early in your marriage.

When one of you has been diagnosed with an illness, either acute or chronic, the physical and emotional challenges to both of you impact and threaten the stability of your relationship. You and your spouse may be experiencing shock, fear, anxiety, depression - and at the same time, a sense of deep support and renewed strength.

As Sandwiched Boomers, do you have increased commitments now that either your parents or in-laws are getting older and need more assistance? Perhaps there's conflict about who takes care of what responsibilities or about not having enough time for the relationship or your own needs.

Are any of the above changes or challenges putting stress on your relationship? If so, acknowledge this to your parnter. It can be the start of new awareness and a shift in the relationship itself.