The Holidays and the Gift of Time

We invite you to visit our website, HerMentorCenter.com. The articles, newsletters and videos you'll discover there are full of easy to implement strategies for you, members of the sandwich generation facing the challenges of parents growing older and kids growing up.

Please accept this gift from us - join the email list to the left of this post and begin to receive a free monthly newsletter with practical solutions to the problems of a family in flux. And you can also download a complimentary ebook on how to reach your goals.

Happy Holidays to you and yours!
Phyllis and Rosemary

As the meltdown in the economy and the crisis in confidence continue, are you still feeling stretched by the financial pressure? The responsibilities of the holiday season may be getting you down, especially if you're facing tough buying decisions. These are challenging times. This year, in more ways than one, you may just have to let go of the idea of a perfect Christmas, Hanukah or Kwanzaa.

Even though it's important to honor the tradition of giving, accumulating material things can't hold a candle to the gift that matters most. Bringing cheer to others can cheer you up as well. And you can do it without breaking the bank. With the holidays fast approaching, you certainly don't want more pressure. So follow these practical tips as you focus on more joy and less stuff:

Give the gift of connection. Put heart in your relationships. Arrange a regular weekly date with your parents. Invite them out to lunch, a museum or the movies. Send a card to someone with whom you've lost contact. Enclose a recent family photo, your email address and a promise to keep in touch. Drive an elderly neighbor to the grocery store, a doctor's appointment or the shopping mall.

Give to a worthy cause. Get the family or a group of friends together and spend a couple of hours helping at a homeless shelter. Pass forward gifts you've never used. Or bring some toys or clothes that are in good shape. Buy a small present for a street person you pass regularly and make eye contact when you give it. Put a big smile on your face and help cook the holiday dinner at a soup kitchen. Make a donation to Aunt Sue's favorite charity; every gift counts no matter how much you spend.

Give of yourself. Enjoy time with your friends by inviting them over for an evening of fun. Organize a potluck dinner and have them bring their signature dish. Cut down on expenses by exchanging memories instead of presents. Or express yourself and create some of your holiday gift items. Make a coupon book filled with orders for good deeds. Add a personal touch by baking decorative cookies with the kids. Show others you care with an IOU to babysit so they can have a much needed night out.

Give to yourself. Take some down time over the holidays. For a couple of hours each day, try not to focus on your problems. Curl up with a great book from the library, watch the ballgame with your teenagers or take your grandkids to the park. Enjoy peace of mind by paying down your debts. Hold back from buying lots of gifts or taking the family on an expensive outing. Decide together how to spend a fun and relaxing day. Your family will understand and may grow from the experience.

The holidays don't always have to look like a Norman Rockwell painting. Begin to lay the groundwork for change in your gift giving rituals. As you can see, it doesn't have to cost you anything but time. And when money is tight and life is challenging, connection and support mean the most.

It will be a gift to yourself when you recreate the joy of simpler days. Small changes can represent a new beginning. Take heart as you give a little that feels like a lot. And in these hard times, that's a good lesson for all of us.

Family Life in Morocco

I'm back from two weeks in Morocco and want to savor the experience, so I hope it's OK if I share some of my photos and impressions with you this week. Please feel free to click on 'Comments' at the bottom of this post and tell us your travel stories as well.

Morocco is the kind of country I love to visit, where the almost medieval-like hustle and bustle is a world away from my own life. The culture is so different from what I know and the sights, sounds, smells and tastes are like a wakeup call to the senses. Here's a photo of a grandfather treating his grandchild to an ice cream cone while he's babysitting.

This one is of three generations of the same family selling ceramic pots in the local market. As you can see, just like in our country, the Sandwich Generation is front and center.

Meet our guide, Jamal, and his wife, Fouzia. Hospitality is a part of the Moroccan culture and we spent an evening in their home in Marrakesh, talking with them and their three daughters. Traditionally men take to the streets and women are in charge of the home. Although Fouzia has a Ph.D. in languages, she sees her primary job as raising the girls. Jamel said that, especially since he travels so much, she holds the power in the family.

Despite the language barrier, women speak a universal body language. And it was apparent that, underneath the traditional clothes, she is much like you and me – working hard, concerned about her children and parents, loving her family.

We want you to know that on Tuesday, November 24 at 10am Pacific/1pm Eastern, Line Brunet will be interviewing us on her Family Focus radio show about the Sandwich Generation. If you want to listen and/or download it afterwards, please log on www.blogtalkradio.com/familyfocuscoach

This has been a year of uncertainty, upheaval and change. And this holiday season, especially, is a time to reflect on what you are thankful for and to count your blessings.

Instead of focusing on presents, be present. As you spend time with loved ones, cherish your family traditions. Enjoy the gift of time together and connection.

They say time flies when you're having fun, and we have had the best year - thanks to you, our readers. We appreciate your inspiration and having you as a part of our blogging family. Whether it's Christmas, Hanukah or Kwanzaa you're celebrating, have a great holiday!

As a longstanding member of the Sandwich Generation, are you tired of preparing the Thanksgiving dinner and ready to pass the baton to the next generation? What follows are some tips that will help you create new holiday rituals:

Make this Thanksgiving a rite of passage. If you want to be a guest instead of the hostess, tell your family how you feel. Whether you're edging your kidults out of the nest or taking a well deserved break, begin to shift the responsibility of family get-togethers to the next generation.

Pass on the family legacy. Let your adult children know how much you value keeping the family close. Ask for what you want and be willing to help out. Teach by example as they watch how you lovingly take care of your own aging parents.

Encourage your children to preserve the old family traditions. Give them your support while they begin to create some new customs of their own. And remember to express your appreciation for all they do.

Whether your emerging adult children decide to create new wave recipes or cook the meal in the microwave, it's now out of your control. Sit back and relax - all you have to do is pass the cranberries.