Positive Thinking and Holiday Peace in the Family

Focus on the positives during holiday time and see how that can affect peace in the family. Why not start practicing some of the following tips right now, in preparation for what's to come? Then scroll down to the bottom righthand corner of this post and let us know what works for you.

Consider what you love about your family and let them know how grateful you are they're a part of your life. Be sure to point out their positive qualities and personal strengths rather than focusing on the negatives.

You don't have to be all things to all people all the time. If your favorite aunt doesn't get along with her ex-husband's new wife, don't invite them to dinner. It will make it easier for everyone to have an open mind and an accepting heart.

Put aside differences and avoid hot button issues. Sibling rivalry and unfinished family business are bound to surface. Despite how hard it may be, go for the higher ground and walk away from misunderstandings. But agree to finish the conversation at a later time.

Conversely, with a relationship that matters to you, bury the hatchet. If in the past you have stifled your feelings and then blown up later, don't let your emotions fester. Admit the part you play in the conflict, privately, and deal with it.

If there is tension in the room, take the focus away from the specific toward the abstract. For example, talk about the value of apologizing for some wrongdoing. Then encourage others to discuss how this kind of quality has enhanced their other personal relationships.

Practice letting go of childhood pain and longings when family members are not with you in person but in your memories. And realize that having feelings of gratitude and forgiveness are a gift you give yourself.

You can click on the title of this post to read an article that has more tips about how the gift of connection can reduce holiday stress.

Michael Jackson: Who's Your Daddy?

It's clear that Debbie Rowe is the biological mother of Michael Jackson's two older children but there's ongoing speculation about who's the father. Michael Lester, their godfather, told Matt Lauer on the Today Show that he donated sperm in 1996. Are the children hearing about this in the media and how may it affect them? You'd think their godfather would be less self serving and more concerned about their best interests.



If you're Sandwiched Boomers caught either in the middle of a soap opera, a complex crisis or a painful tragedy, here are some ideas to consider as you begin to take better care of your grandchildren and yourself:

Accept the changes in the family, whatever they are, even if you feel caught in the crossfire. Validate the children's feelings and withhold blame regarding their parents. While you show support, try not to take a particular side or excuse bad behavior. Remember that your primary concern here is to attend to the immediate needs of the children.

Do what you can to maintain structure and continuity. By stabilizing the children's environment with a familiar routine, they'll begin to feel less anxious and more secure. Children are resilient - as you model positive and hopeful thinking, they are bound to thrive.

Clicking on the title of this post will take you to HerMentorCenter.com and an article about How to Turn a Crisis into a Challenge.

No one can deny that the national conversation has become depressing. Sandwiched Boomers, with the responsibilitty of caring for their children and parents, are scared about the deep economic propblems. Some find it difficult to get up in the morning when all they hear about is tumbling home prices, an increase in unemployment and the falling stock market. Pundits exclaim that the American dream is dying on the vine and that we are all suffering from bankrupt spirits.

Even though our country is going through a very difficult time, the worst thing to do is panic. Cultural pain is common and normal in crisis and, as a nation, we are now being adversity-tested. After all, isn't necessity the mother of invention? As you rise to the challenges this week, we will be offering tips to help you develop your inner strength and resiliency.

You know about physical fitness. Apply some of these principals to becoming more psychologically fit. Examine your usual pattern and begin an emotional training program. In addition to paying attention to nutritious eating and regular exercise, examine the negative concerns that get your attention. Notice how dwelling on these make you feel worse about yourself and the situation. It's time to stop these thoughts. And begin to discover the active steps you can take to change them from negative to more positive - or, at least, find ways to neutralize them.