The Day After

…And they lived happily ever after.

That's what we're told at the end of fairy tales. And we want to believe it. But the truth is we really don't know what happens after the wedding. How does the couple resolve the inevitable conflicts? How do they support each other after a defeat? How do they incorporate romantic love into the reality of day-to-day ups and downs?

Today is Valentine's Day plus One. You may be feeling disappointed and resentful about yesterday or happy and cherished. Perhaps you want to savor the warm love you received or to rehash the letdown you experienced. Your focus may even be on what you gave to those you love rather than on what you received. In any case, your perceptions become reality and your reactions set the tone for what comes next.

Life is complicated. It's both good and bad, filled with successes and failures. Often your responses give meaning to what has occurred more than do the actual events themselves.


Take a good look at this picture. You may only see the dark clouds, portending an ominous future or instead notice the patches of color that indicate a potentially rosy outlook. The flag may suggest a sense of community and belonging or the separation from others who are not in the group. A focus on the airplane can remind you of adventures still ahead or fear of the unknown. Even the tankers in the background can raise feelings of optimism or pessimism about our environment.

It's not really concrete objects, events and people that define our lives but how we react to them. Our stories begin in earnest the day after. It's not easy but that's when we begin the real work of resilience and creation. How will you choose to tell your own story? With gratitude and forgiveness or bitterness and remorse? It's up to you.

Do you remember your grandparents telling you about the Great Depression? Are some of their stories sounding familiar now that you're Sandwiched Boomers facing your own financial challenges? I wouldn't be surprised. Let us hear from you the next few days as we share ideas about how to take better care of yourself.

Evaluate the situation but don't overreact or put your head in the sand. Pay close attention to what’s going on around you. Getting caught up in a pessimistic mindset can result in higher levels of anxiety and poor decision making. Try to stay calm and remain focused on the specifics of what you need to do.

Recognize how you deal with tension related to money. Avoid unhealthy habits like smoking, drinking, gambling or emotional eating. Financial pressure can bring about more conflict and arguments in your relationships. If any of these behaviors are causing problems for you, find healthier approaches to deal with your stress.

These are unprecedented times. From the breakdown of traditional financial institutions to the government's 700 million dollar bailout, Americans don't know how to respond. Some are in denial, not fully understanding the problems and consequences. Others are angry at what they see as a "bailout for the fat cats" and an award for recklessness on Wall Street. Still others feel panic about the gloomy economic forecast. These are all typical emotional reactions to loss. And for Sandwiched Boomers, many financially responsible for their children and aging parents, they see their dream of a comfortable retirement slipping away.

The new Pew Research Center's Social and Demographic Trends survey measured dissatisfaction and pessimism in close to 2500 participants. The data indicates that Baby Boomers worry more than any other generation. And a recent study from the University of Chicago suggests that the boomer generation has never really been happy. One hypothesis is that Boomers grew up wanting to make the world a better place -and it's not.

We will be discussing this topic on our blog posts all week. So weigh in. Let off steam - and share your concerns and ideas with our readers.