Sandwich Generation: Focus on Friends & Family

Just because you're single doesn't mean you have to be lonely on Valentine's Day. As members of the Sandwich Generation, focus on these tips that can reach far beyond a love relationship and perk you up:

Pay attention to the positives in your significant relationships. Notice who you enjoy spending time with and what about them brings you pleasure. And remember that your personal character and qualities make them want to be your friends. Relax into your friendships as you enjoy fuller and deeper conversations.

Connect often with others. Going out with a group of colleagues can sometimes be more fun than going on a date. And having support is especially important when you're feeling down. You can bring more intimacy into your circle of friends. Be willing to reveal your personal opinions and needs so that they have access to your inner world. And encourage them to do the same with you.

Lower your expectations about today. Actually, there really is no perfect day, so relax. Be realistic and proactive. You can take the lead and make a plan for the day - organize a potluck dinner, a hike in the hills or a barbeque at the park. The wonderful memories you create will last long after the day is over.

While we're on the subject of relationships, why don't you click on the title of this post to read an article about the impact of Oprah's support of President Obama at an important time in his life.

Baby Boomers and a Call to Action

Reagarding the economic stimulus package, early in the week President Obama said, "No plan is perfect, and we should work to make it stronger. Let's show people all over our country who are looking for leadership in this difficult time that we are equal to the task."

The last couple of days, pushing hard to get a plan passed, he remarks, "The time for talk is over, the time for action is now." As Baby boomers in a tough economy, do these words apply to you? Are you doing all you can to make this challenging situation work for your family?

You may have to stay at your job longer than you expected if you are a Baby Boomer nearing retirement. Or perhaps you’ll upgrade skills that will enable you to keep your job. Research findings indicate that, if you enjoy your work, there is added value in the stimulation, engagement and camaraderie it provides.

Alter your expectations and focus on the long run as you put off present pleasures for future gains. Appreciate the changes you are making now for your future wellbeing. Let off steam and reduce stress - discover low cost fitness by gardening or scaling steps. Barter services by cooking a meal or building shelves in exchange for personal training. Fight the force of negativity and believe in yourself to awaken the strength within.

Chicken Little thought the sky was falling - but with all the anxiety and panic, avoid a knee jerk reaction. Instead of an automatic response, think about what’s driving your fear before reacting. It’s true that conspicuous consumption marked the rise and fall of empires. But you don’t have to go to the extreme of chopping wood and carrying water. Just be patient and tighten your belt - call an old friend, using free Sunday minutes, write a letter to the editor, play a game with your kids, thank your lucky stars.

We got ahead of ourselves yesterday, so let's back up. For the Sandwich Generation, long before the Thanksgiving meal, there's a lot riding on family. This can create pressure for everyone. With blended families, there's the challenge of logistics - accommodating the needs of others and still not compromising your own too much. And when family members live in different cities it's hard to determine which is easier, going back home or having visitors on your turf. Of course, there are all the memories of holidays past coupled with the expectations of today - sometimes unrealistic and often unfulfilled.

Realize that what you are experiencing is normal and stress is common at this time of year. Here are a few ways to restore balance:

If you're traveling home, remember to pack your patience. Internalized memories or old family dynamics are bound to surface. Unfinished business - like sibling rivalry and the fight for mom's attention - is baggage that is often too large to fit in the overhead compartment. So make a decision this year to try and leave it behind.

Explore the possibility of the out of town guests staying in a hotel. It's more difficult to have others around while preparing the meal and uncomfortable for the guests. Making a decision to house visitors elsewhere could be a relief for all of you - and the beginning of a new family tradition.

Identify your core values. A core value is about being, not about doing. For example, you may set a goal of being more relaxed rather than trying to make everything perfect. Decide to live up to these standards. Begin to take action as you create a more congruent way of life.

As the week draws to a close, Sandwiched Boomers continue to worry about the nation’s economic health and are anxious about their financial future. We hope that the following ideas will be helpful:

Recognize how you deal with stress related to money. Some people are more likely to relieve stress by turning to unhealthy activities like smoking, drinking, gambling or emotional eating. The strain can also lead to more conflict and arguments in relationships. If any of these behaviors are causing problems in your family, seek help from a professional for healthier ways to deal with your stress.

Times like this, while difficult, can offer opportunities for growth and needed changes. Try taking a walk—it’s an inexpensive way to get good exercise. Having dinner at home with your family may not only save you money, but help bring you closer together. Consider learning a new skill. Take a course through your employer or look into low-cost resources in your community that can lead to a better job. The key is to use this time to think outside the box and try new ways of managing your life.

Embrace simplicity and appreciate what you have. Enjoy your family and colleagues. Step outside on a cloudless night and look at the beautiful sky. Eat sandwiches on a park bench with a co-worker as you visit during lunch hour. Volunteer at a local homeless shelter or a boys and girls club.

Unrealistic expectations about things and people lead to disappointment. Built-in obsolescence makes you a slave to the latest style and the next upgrade. It never ends, and leaves you dissatisfied with what you have. In some situations try not to expect so much, and whatever comes your way will be a blessing.