Tweens and Social Media

Now that Facebook has finally gone public and lawsuits have been launched about the process, will the media frenzy about it subside? Attention is already being paid to other social media sites – including those aimed at kids, tweens and teens. With summer beginning and school out in the next couple of weeks, soon your kids will be having more time on their hands. Are you concerned about how they may be spending it?

Parents try to keep an eye on how and where their children are on the Internet, but the kids seem to be one step – or click – ahead in their search for freedom. And they're beginning younger and younger. While most don't have their own mobile phones until they're teens, 15% of children under 11 now have them. Although the age limit on Facebook is 13, many tweens have their own pages there. Kids are using Viddy, a video-sharing app, on their pages and they've learned to use sites such as Instagram, a photo-sharing app, to text each other.

As a parent, you want to protect your children from online predators, bullies, inappropriate advertising or their own naïve sharing of personal information. At the same time you recognize that the Internet is a part of their social and academic experience and you want them to learn how to use it responsibly. Now there are educators attempting to do just that. Playground is being developed by the Annenberg Innovation Lab at the University of Southern California to teach kids about Internet responsibility and privacy in addition to how to create content.

We've blogged here before about on-line safety and supervision – you can check out some of our tips for talking with your kids about the Internet. Of course you'll want to do your own homework before you decide which websites you'll allow your kids to use, if any. The American Academy of Pediatrics gives some suggestions for talking with them about time limits, your expectations for their behavior and rules they need to follow.   

If you want to get a jump on the process, here's a look at some of the virtual sites where your tweens may say they want to hang out this summer:

On the social media site KidzVuz, kids are encouraged to make and share their own videos -reviewing books and movies as well as food and clothes. They can't conduct private messaging and there is careful monitoring of comments to keep them in the protective guidelines.

Everloop is a social media site just for tweens where they can design their own pages, join groups that interest them, chat and play games. There are safety controls built in and bullying or bad language is not allowed by the monitors.

Tween girls who are interested in fashion may spend time on FashionPlayte. They can design and then order these clothes for themselves or their dolls on the site.  

Disney owned, established-site Club Penguin has activities and games for younger children to play as well as the opportunity to connect and chat with each other. With its embedded safety controls, it doesn't allow them to share personal information or treat each other with disrespect.

Now that you have some more ideas about what's happening on-line for your tweens, you can get back to planning how to get them away from the computer and outdoors this summer.

New Ways to Help Your Aging Parents

For all you Sandwiched Boomers out there, we've come across two new creative developments to help you care for your aging parents while you are busy raising your kids. We've tried them out ourselves and want to share with you our excitement about them.

The first is a new kind of software, made especially for older seniors who are not yet comfortable with navigating the Internet. It's called Seniorama and is made by an Israeli software company, Softarama. Seniorama is a senior-friendly operating system with a very simple graphic user interface that enables the elderly and the disabled to utilize basic computer applications - email, browse the Internet, use Skype, play brain games - allowing them to stay connected with family and friends, sharpen their minds, overcome loneliness and more. You can open up a whole new virtual world to your elderly parents, even those with failing eyesight.

Seniorama transforms any PC into an intuitive, easy-to-use machine, from start-up to shutdown, in a way that is suited for non-computer-savvy older seniors and anyone who may have visual problems, learning difficulties, cognitive impairment or a neurological disease of any sort. It provides a clear format for those who require a larger screen view.

Users easily send and receive email, play brain-fitness games, view family photos, browse the Internet and enjoy video chats. They can also customize their email address book and read Word, Powerpoint and PDF documents. Because it includes voice as well as video calling, there is an option to have emails read out loud. And, also reassuring for seniors, there is 24-hour email support available.

If you think you would like to introduce it to your aging parents, you can find out more about Seniorama on their website. If you decide to purchase the easy to install software, the company is offering a significant discount to you, our readers.

We've also received information about a helpful toolkit called Caring for Your Parents: Senior Emergency Kit. Created by the Home Instead Senior Care network and Humana, it's designed to help organize your elderly parent's medical and financial information in one central place. If you'd like your own copy, you can download the materials from their website at SeniorEmergencyKit. You'll find more helpful resources and information there about reducing the caregiver stress you're likely to be experiencing as a Sandwiched Boomer.

And for a lively discussion with baby boomer T.B. Fisher about lessons he's learned over the years, check in with us on Wednesday for a Virtual Book Tour. He'll be answering questions about his new book, Bought In: Reignite, Retool, Rebrand.

Anthony Weiner and Parenting in the Digital Age

Although Anthony Weiner stated that the women he corresponded with on Facebook and Twitter were all over the age of consent, recently more compromising photos have emerged and information has come out about a 'friend'/'follower' who is in high school. Although he may not have sent her any lewd photos or messages, this highlights the dilemma for parents of teens - how much to monitor your kids' online experience. On the one hand, you want to protect them from danger before it becomes inevitable, on the other, you want to allow them to develop their own autonomy.

Image: digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

With Facebook, twitter and other social media being such a large part of the connections in young people's experience today, parents need to set standards for their teens about how to use these interactive technologies. In a blog post this spring, we talked about the risks stemming from teen's sexting and what parents could do to help their kids protect themselves.

In that post, we pointed out the importance of being concrete with teens about the potential consequences of all risky behaviors - especially because of the slow development in their brain lobes responsible for functions such as good judgment. Sexting in particular can be an impulsive and dangerous activity and it may be impossible to completely erase a post from the Internet. Representative Weiner found this out when he attempted to delete his message after realizing that it was sent to everyone following him, not just the intended recipient.

Weiner has decided that, due to his inappropriate behavior, he requires a "course of treatment to make himself well." It's unclear what his treatment will address but for teens, with peer pressure being such a strong influence, parents can work toward helping their kids increase feelings of self-esteem and develop a respect for their own worth.

As a parent, the goal is to be present in your children's lives without overwhelming them with your input - it's a fine line. Just as you recognize their need for independence, you're also aware of the value of supervision at this stage of their development. You'll find more parenting tips for raising children in the digital age on the website of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

And lets hope that soon this poor example of role modeling by a public official moves off the front page so we can get back to talking with our teens about getting summer jobs rather than about lying and sexting.

Dangers for Teens on the Internet

With the release of David Schwimmer's new movie, Trust, parents are once more put on notice about the importance of educating their kids about the dangers of Internet sex predators. Schwimmer directed and produced the movie about what happens when a 14 year-old girl begins communicating with a stranger in an online chat room. The entire family feels the damaging effects of the girl's victimization by an adult male posing as a teenage boy.

Photo by Keerati

Facebook and other social media, chat rooms and smart phones are a big part of young people's lives today. These interactive technologies give them a chance to stay connected with friends but also open them up to risks from the adult world. According to a survey conducted by the University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center, three-quarters of Net-initiated sexual exploitation victims were girls, aged 13 to 15. And three-quarters of the offenders were age 26 or older. Chat rooms were the most likely places for the relationships to start, with three-quarters of them beginning there. Most of the couples progressed to face-to-face sexual encounters with 93%of these involving illegal sex.

Many parents have also been concerned by the sexting that goes on among many high school students. Several states have proposed laws that are aimed at limiting this behavior by treating it as child pornography.

About the reaction to his film, Schwimmer has said he hopes "that viewers leave wanting to engage in more dialogue about Parenting in the Age of Technology." Have you begun a dialogue in your family about the net with your children or grandchildren? Here are some areas you may want to discuss:

Address the consequences of behavior early on so it's a topic they've heard before. Teens are often naïve about the long-term results of their actions. The sections of their brains responsible for good judgment have not matured enough for them to avoid dangerous situations. You'll need to spell out the possible outcomes to activities that seem innocuous but may be risky.

Talk specifically about the potentially serious end result of sexting. Teens are often impulsive and caught up in the excitement of acting on a dare without considering the consequences. While they are not able to process the potentially negative end point, it's up to you to remind them that once they've put something out on the Internet, they can't erase it, no matter how many times they hit the 'delete' button. The American Academy of Pediatrics offers some suggestions for helping you speak about the problem of sexting with your kids.

Discuss the importance of privacy and self-respect. Peer pressure is an especially strong force at this developmental stage but give your teens the tools to avoid going along with the gang when they feel uncomfortable. Reinforce the value of their opinions as they make decisions that are appropriate for their safety.

Have regular family meetings to keep your communication open and honest. As a parent, be present in your children's lives without overwhelming them with your input. Encourage them to share their concerns with you and listen without being judgmental. You'll all need to practice cooperation and compromise as you come up with solutions that take everyone's needs into account.

Walk the fine line between knowing when to let go and when to keep an eye on your teen. Give your teens the freedom they crave within the confines of your supervision. If you believe their health and safety is being threatened, you may need to draw on 'tough love' and shut down your kid's Internet access.

As a parent, when you monitor your teenager's online usage, you'll be aware of potential threats before they get out of control. Even if your teen is in a chat room with someone she knows, it may lead to sexual exploitation since Net-initiated sex crimes are actually more common among acquaintances than strangers. The American Academy of Pediatrics has just released a new report about the impact of social media on kids. You'll find more useful information and parenting tips on their website to help with your important role of raising children in the digital age.

Brain Exercises for Sandwiched Boomers

Yesterday we highlighted a recent study that found conducting Internet searches enhances brain function. Today lets look at additional means of exercising your brain to keep it active and dynamic. Here are some tips to follow:

Exercise your brain with mental aerobics just as you do your body. The Seattle Longitudinal Study found that 66% of older Americans doing brain exercise activities had significant cognitive improvement. Learning new skills increases the number of neural connections in the brain and keeps them firing.

Explore new areas and interests. Have you wanted to learn to play the piano? Take Spanish or learn computer graphics? Check out your neighborhood center, school district or extension courses at a college or university near you. Traveling to new places? Surf the web for information about educational travel in America and throughout the world.

Play word or number games and do crossword or jigsaw puzzles to keep your mind sharp. Researchers believe that these kinds of mental challenges build new neural pathways that help buffer the brain against age-related losses. Injecting novelty into your everyday tasks can have a similar affect. AARP has compiled a list of suggested tasks - for example, you could use your non-dominant hand for brushing your teeth, rearrange the furniture in your rooms, or carry out activities blindfolded.

Dr. Gary Small of UCLA has developed a technique for improving memory - Look, Snap, Connect. First, actively observe what you want to learn; next, create mental snapshots of your memories; finally link your mental snapshots together. This technique can help you remember information ranging from the names of new people you meet to where you parked your car or left your keys.

Develop your creative talents. Scientists have found that, as you challenge yourself to look at things in a new way and try novel behaviors, you exercise important parts of your brain. Women in their middle years have taken up a wide range of creative activities such as painting, acting, writing poetry, photography, making jewelry.

And don't forget that physical activity helps keep your mental powers sharper too. Plan your schedule so that you can participate regularly. Choose an activity that you enjoy and find engaging -- walking with a friend, working out at the gym, biking with your partner. A daily brisk 20 to 30 minute walk will allow you to feel better emotionally and think more clearly.

Increase your physical activities to include aerobics, flexibility and strengthening exercises. Fast walking, jogging, dancing, biking or climbing stairs are all good. Studies indicate that aerobic exercise brings more blood and oxygen to your brain cells, encouraging the growth of new nerve cells and connections between them. Improve your mood, control your weight and protect yourself against cognitive loss all at the same time!

For some ideas about how to identify your strengths and talents, click on the post title above. You will be connected with our article, How to Inventory Your Assets, found on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com.

Adding Brain Power

If you found our blog by Googling or responding to a Google Alert about a subject that concerned you - aging parents, growing children, nourishing relationships, family conflicts, Sandwiched Boomers - or by surfing the Internet for topics of interest, or you are a regular reader, congratulations, you are increasing your brain power!

According to a study soon to be published by the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, a team of UCLA scientists have found that middle aged and older adults who search the Internet, using the web on a regular basis, activate brain centers necessary for complex reasoning and decision-making. Exercising the brain in this way - making decisions about what to click on to continue the search - can engage brain circuit connections and improve mental functioning.

The UCLA researchers, using MRI brain scans during an assigned Internet search, noted that study participants with experience in online searches sparked two times as much brain activity as those with little prior web experience. And, as compared with an MRI done during a book-reading task, more brain activity was engaged during the Internet search. When the less web-savvy volunteers completed 7 one-hour online searches at home, their MRI scans two weeks later indicated brain activation patterns similar to the more experienced volunteers. So, take heart - enjoy the Internet and let your brain light up!

Have you been thinking about additional ways to maintain your vitality? Use your creativity as you plan new ways to challenge your brain cells. Then click on the post title above to take you to www.HerMentorCenter.com. You will find our articles there to help you get started in realizing your potential for change. You will find tips to move you in 8 Strategies to Turn Your New Year's Resolutions into Reality.And tune in tomorrow for more tips on keeping your brain young.

As the presidential campaign heats up the cold New Hampshire winter, our focus is very specific: how the value of support simply cannot be overestimated. As Sandwiched Boomers in the midst of dealing with aging parents and growing children, do you need help in finding support for yourself? Over the next week, through the eyes of political candidates, we're going to teach you how to go about getting it.

Oprahbama, the big O's, Oprah and the Obamas – sounds like a rock band on a road trip. When Oprah hit the campaign trail, her candidate played the celebrity card and their fan base responded. Change is a major pillar of Obama's speeches and his message is spreading like wildfire. And who better than you can grasp the effects of change?

1. Knowledge is power, so try to fully understand the difficult transitions your family in flux is going through. Begin by talking with them.
2. Gather material from the Internet’s search engines about how to manage change. Find the niche websites and blogs that address the family issues you are managing.
3. Scour the self-help section of bookstores for titles and table of contents that address the problems you are facing. Then buy the book and apply what works for your particular situation.
4. Engage in conversation with friends and family who have gone through similar experiences, in order to get realistic feedback. Implement their concrete advice about how to proceed, step by step.