Take off your Mask and Take Care of You

Are you a Sandwiched Boomer facing the challenges of parents growing older and children growing up? If so, you're probably changing your mask throughout your busy day - and if not that, certainly your attitude and facial expression. But you can harmonize your feelings with the face you show the world.

Bring congruency into your life. Notice that when you feel one way and act another, you're out of sorts. Work on synchronicity – that is, making what you feel match what you do. Integrate your core values and personal ideals into how you view the world – and live them.

It can be difficult to maintain a sense of optimism when circumstances are emotionally painful. But there are psychological pitfalls when you present a false self and mask your true identity. If your negative feelings stem from a void inside, examine what is missing in your life. It takes a lot of courage to exorcise you demons and the road to healing is long and hard. But you can hold yourself to a higher standard. Take off your mask and commit to feeling more positive about yourself.

How do you spend your free time away from all your responsibilities? A massage or facial may seem too extravagant in this tough economy. But taking a walk in the park or a hike in the hills with a friend can be a real energy booster - give it a try! And click on the title of this post for some tips on how to take better care of yourself.

As Sandwiched Boomers, it's easy to become weighed down by the duties and responsibilities of caring for an aging father. But as we join together to honor our dad's on Sunday, lets consider the positive results of this complex relationship as well.

See the present challenge as a teachable moment and make the most of learning whatever you can. Apply these lessons to other areas of your life. What insight have you gained about dealing with your own aging process? How can you talk to your children about your wishes when you become older?

Look for all of the positives in these tough times. Gloria was learning a lot about herself as she cared for her dad in the last months of his life. "I had never really been tested like this before. Sometimes caring for him seemed like more than I could endure, but I kept going. Now I know how strong I can be." In the end, think less about what you're losing and more about the chance you may be gaining. This could be the only time in your life that you have the opportunity to give back to your father emotionally what he has given to you

As you are discovering more about developing your own capacity for resiliency, you will find the way to nourish yourself. You may call on your faith, your spirituality, or your sense of humor. Rely on whatever sustains you during these most difficult moments. And we hope you enjoy a happy Father's Day.

We hope that you're trying to attend to your own needs while still honoring this week of family togetherness. Let your plans for the new year include nurturing yourself. As you begin to lay the groundwork for change, treat yourself to better health by keeping your stress in check.

1. Ask for what you need. Pronounce the holiday meals potluck and don't feel guilty about it. If they want to, let your family help with the dishes and clean up. Accept your friend's offer to bring an appetizer, or even the main course, to the New Year's Eve party. They'll all be glad to play a more active role and you'll have the time and energy to participate in the festivities.

2. Give yourself a break. Instead of worrying about all the desserts you've eaten, use that energy for a brisk walk in the park. Or pay off some debt rather than taking the family on an expensive outing; they will understand and grow from the experience.

3. Find emotional support. With the challenges of college age children coming home, integrating new in-laws into the family unit and caring for the growing needs of your parents - take a breather and call a friend. Share your feelings about what's going on with your family – relish in getting it off your chest, gaining some positive feedback or having a good laugh together.

You've worked hard to make the holidays special for all the family. Now receive, from yourself, a virtual stress-free voucher - relax into the idea of some relaxation and peace of mind.