Honoring Veterans Every Day

Just in time for Veterans Day, in an overwhelming display of bipartisanship, the U.S. Senate passed a bill providing tax credits to employers who hire unemployed veterans. In addition, Congress will be shepherding through the legislative process a "VOW to Hire Heroes Act" in expectation of early passage. President Obama also announced several administrative programs to help veterans find work and train for new careers. These jobs initiatives are particularly important since, according to data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, veterans have an overall unemployment rate of 12.1 %, several points higher than for non-veterans.

On Friday, we honored the brave men and women who have served our country in the Armed Forces, leaving their families to protect ours. But don't veterans deserve our respect every day of the year, not just on November 11th? If you want to express your gratitude, but don't have the ability to hire a veteran, there are numerous organizations providing important services to veterans as well as comfort and assistance to their families.

A government website can help you search for volunteer opportunities to help military families in your community.

Joining Forces is a national initiative that provides members of the Armed Services and their families opportunities and support.

The Semper Fi Fund provides immediate financial support for injured and critically ill members of the U.S. Armed Forces and their families.

The mission of The Wounded Warrior Project is to honor and empower wounded soldiers with a variety of programs to strengthen Mind, Body, Economic Empowerment and Engagement, including PTSD evaluation.

Fisher House gives families the chance to be close to their military loved ones who are hospitalized and provides scholarships to support programs improving the quality of life for military families.

The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) provides comfort to those who have lost a loved one in service to America.

Let's work to help these programs and services make it easier for our brave veterans to transition to civilian jobs and life at home with dignity. They deserve our appreciation and recognition every day.

Visit our blog again on Wednesday for a Virtual Book Tour with Dr. Jeffrey Rubin. He'll be answering questions about his new book, The Art of Flourishing.

Honoring Service on Veterans Day

On this day, November 11, we offer our tributes to the veterans who have served the country over the years and honor those who are serving today. These brave men and women in the Armed Forces put their lives on the line every day, and do so with dignity. We are especially aware of the challenges of service after the terrible shootings at Fort Hood.

As we respect their contributions, we can also reflect on what we can learn from those in the Armed Services. "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." So said Charles Colton, nearly 200 years ago. If you are caring for your family in flux, maybe as a Sandwiched Boomer, here are some ways you can emulate them.

Draw upon your own strength. You will learn more about your capabilities when you are tested by hard times than when everything is going well for you. Resiliency is increased each time you get up and put one foot in front of the other. Bravery comes in many actions - facing an illness, providing for your family, starting a new career - not only on the battlefield.

Just as those in the foxholes feel the honest emotions of fear, anger, pain, guilt, anxiety and loneliness, allow yourself to experience these emotions when they are a part of your life. Sandwiched between caring for your offspring and your parents, you will feel stressed and anxious at times. Acknowledge these feelings, and then begin to deal with them.

If you remember the fragility and transience of life as you move through it, you will savor each good moment you have. To live your life to the fullest is a lasting mark of respect you can pay to your family and to the veterans who have sacrificed the innocence of their youth for you.

So after paying tribute to the men and women of the Armed Services on Veterans Day, make a commitment to employ some of these techniques to honor your own family. You will find that, as a part of the Sandwich Generation, it makes your time with each member more meaningful and relevant.

Familes Come Together

In times of turmoil and pain, families instinctively draw together. As investigators are trying to learn more about the shooter at Fort Hood, friends and family of the victims are turning their attention to one another for support and comfort. Grieving as one with the country, members of the Armed Forces sustain each another as family.

With Veterans Day coming tomorrow, we are again reminded of the Service men and women who leave their families to protect ours. As you reflect on the events of the past several days, you may find yourselves thinking about what you can learn from veterans about the importance of family. Here are some suggestions to consider.

Express the gratitude you feel for what they have given you – protection, opportunities, love, strength, enjoyment of life. You have doors open to you now because of them. This can begin with something as simple as a heartfelt "thank you," and develop into a more textured and thoughtful recognition of what you are thankful for.

Recognize the importance of revealing the love you have for each other. Those who have been in harm's way know the meaning of the words, "it's too late." Don't put off sharing your love; decide to make it a priority. Each day, acknowledge those you love, and who love you, as if it were your last.

Understand the value of friendship. Those in the service have trusted and leaned on each other as they've shared their experiences and relied on their camaraderie. Know that we are here to take care of our friends and family – close and extended – difficult though it may be at times.

Community support is there for the taking when you know where to look and how to ask for it. Be open to the reality that you might need to utilize the input and generosity of others. You are not diminished when you allow another to help you.

Are you a Sandwiched Boomer finding it hard to get started focusing on the strengths of your family in these trying times? Click on the post title above to take you to our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com. You can read our article, 5 Steps to Gratitude Despite a Tough Economy for tips about how to focus on acknowledging and expressing what you are grateful for.

Fort Hood Massacre

Flags are flying at half-mast all across America in memory of the 13 soldiers who were massacred by Major Nidal Hasan at Fort Hood. The soldiers were randomly shot while they waited for medical treatment on the base. In addition to the 13 who died, 30 more were injured, some severely. The incident has brought to the forefront, less than a week before Veterans Day, the risk that those brave men and women in the armed forces take, in service to the country.

Americans in the armed forces continue to serve in Iraq and Afghanistan as well as other theaters throughout the world. While most of those killed and injured at Fort Hood were young, the average age of men and women in the Armed Forces has risen. Many in the service now are a part of the Sandwich Generation, concerned about caring for family members at home as they continue their duty to the country. Their burden becomes especially apparent as we approach Veterans Day, a time for all of us to pay tribute to American veterans of all wars.

What lessons can Sandwiched Boomers take from veterans - those who have stood up for the rest of us and given their all to protect our way of life? As we respect their unique bravery, we can direct what we learn to our own family situation. Between now and Veterans Day, we will look at how to apply the same principles to those closest to us. For some ideas about paying tribute to Veterans and your own family from www.HerMentorCenter.com, click on the post title above.

Honoring Our Fallen Soldiers on Memorial Day

We respectfully remember today those who have fallen in service to our country, those who have served and returned, and those who are currently in harm's way in our defense. Please join as we express our gratitude to these brave young men and women.

To read about how observances of Memorial Day and Veterans Day can positively impact you and your family relationships, please click on the title above.

Families Together

Another mother-in-law has contacted us about her experiences with her children-in-law. Susan Lieberman has written a book about the process of improving relationships with sons- and daughters-in-law. We plan to host her on our blog in the future so stay tuned.

With Memorial Day coming on Monday, we salute those families who have a loved one serving in the Armed Forces and honor with respect those who have lost a family member in service to our country. Please join with us in celebrating the lives of these brave men and women.

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day in reference to placing flags on the graves of the fallen, has been observed since 1868 when it commemorated those who gave their lives in the Civil War. It has been a national holiday in the United States since 1971. Like Veterans' Day, it reminds us of the meaning of life and the value of family.

To read more about how a tribute to the sacrifice of veterans can guide us in our daily lives with loved ones, click on the title above to take you to an article on our website.

Even in these difficult economic times, there is much to be grateful for. As we appreciate our blessings, we can focus on what we can do as individuals to make our world a better place for all. Today we are highlighting two projects.

Dina Lynch Eisenberg of www.thismarriagething.com has started what she calls The Gratitude Project. She describes it as "my challenge to bring more love and appreciation into the world during a tough time." The idea is to say thank you to your spouse - or partner, friend, co-worker - three times a day for the next 10 days. Then reflect on how that experience has changed both you and your relationship. You can send your comments to her blog as well as to us here. Sharing your appreciation creates good feelings for everyone.

For most of us, the coming holiday season means spending time with family. But what about those who are separated from theirs? Bloggers Unite have created what is a global initiative designed to express support of human rights for refugees. They are supporting Refugees United, which provides an online, highly secure and anonymous possibility of refugees to reconnect with their families. Visit www.unite.blogcatalog.com to learn more about this worldwide problem and what you can do to help.

As Americans, we are especially grateful to the men and women who have protected and served us and our country. We honor them all every day - and especially tomorrow on Veteran's Day - and offer them our deepest thanks.

Last week we touched on the lessons we can take from Veterans Day as we give thanks for the love of our own family members. Now that Thanksgiving is only a few days away, it becomes even more meaningful to express your gratitude for their presence in your life. Here are a few more ways to apply the message of Veterans Day to Thanksgiving.


Recognize the importance of revealing the love you have for each other. Those who have been in harm's way know the meaning of the words, "it's too late." Don't put off sharing your love; decide to make it a priority. Each day, acknowledge those you love, and who love you, as if it were your last.


Understand the value of friendship. Those in the service have trusted and leaned on each other as they've shared their experiences and relied on their camaraderie. Know that we are here to take care of our friends and family – close and extended – difficult though it may be at times.


Family and community support is there for the taking when you know where to look and how to ask for it. Be open to the reality that you might need to utilize the input and generosity of others. You are not diminished when you allow another to help you.


Draw upon your own strength. You will learn more about your capabilities when you are tested by hard times than when everything is going well for you. Resiliency is increased each time you get up and put one foot in front of the other. Bravery comes in many actions – facing an illness, providing for your family, starting a new career - not only on the battlefield.


Just as those in the foxholes feel the honest emotions of fear, anger, pain, guilt, anxiety and loneliness, allow yourself to experience these emotions when they are a part of your life. Sandwiched between caring for your offspring and your parents, you will feel stressed and anxious at times. Acknowledge these feelings, and then begin to deal with them.


If you remember the fragility and transience of life as you move through it, you will savor each good moment you have. To live your life to the fullest is a lasting mark of respect you can pay to your family and to the veterans who have sacrificed the innocence of their youth for you.


So after having paid tribute to the men and women of the Armed Services on Veterans Day, make a commitment to employ some of these techniques to honor your own family as you celebrate Thanksgiving together. You will find that, as a part of the Sandwich Generation, it makes your time with each member more meaningful and relevant.

Veterans Day, traditionally November 11, will be observed this Monday. It gives us the opportunity to pay tribute to the men and women of the Armed Services. As we do, we embrace them in all of their complexity.


As the average age of men and women in the Armed Forces rises, many are a part of the Sandwich Generation, concerned about caring for family members at home as they continue their service to the country. Their burden becomes especially apparent on Veterans Day, a time for all of us to honor American veterans of all wars.


Yet, even on Veterans Day, controversy surrounds the most meaningful ways to pay homage to those who have served in the past and support our troops who are still in harm's way. Society's view of veterans has reflected how Americans feel about the wars their country fights. Veterans reminiscing in Ken Burns' recent documentary series on World War II noted how unity in the country was palpable at that time, acknowledging the bravery and service of the young men and women of the "Greatest Generation."

Now, however, as during the Vietnam war, Veterans Day is as likely to touch off a storm of anti-war protest as it is to perpetuate a peaceful time of reflection and thanksgiving. There are heated discussions about whether or not to show flag-draped coffins returning from Iraq, how the names of those who have given their lives in service are to be used, and whether veterans are treated fairly by their employers.


What lessons can we, Baby Boomer members of the Sandwich Generation ourselves, take from veterans - those who have stood up for the rest of us and given their all to protect our way of life? As we respect their unique bravery, we can direct what we learn to our own family situation by applying the same principles to those closest to us.


Begin by expressing the gratitude you feel for what your family members have given you – protection, opportunities, love, strength, enjoyment of life. You have doors open to you now because of them. This can begin with something as simple as a heartfelt "thank you," and develop into a more textured and thoughtful recognition of what you are thankful for.


Think about additional examples that may work for you in your family and we will discuss more of them next week.